The Curious Misadventures of King Quincey

This is story my brother wrote a couple of years ago. I came across it in my email and decided to should put it up for the world to enjoy.

The Curious Misadventures of King Quincey
by Greg Hughes

King Quincey stood up from his noble seat and, with a wave of his royal fingers – each sporting kingly rings of authority featuring all colors of the rainbow – had one of his slaves hobble closer.

“I will see this bizarrely emaciated peasant now.”

The slave obeyed and the great doors to Quincey’s throne room creaked open, and from them came a hobbling man of undesirable attire. Quincey could tell a beggar from a mile away as soon as they got up close; they always smelled of manure and had an unsightly look about them. They were always asking for things, too. This older peasant was no different.

Quincey looked down at the man. “You have requested an audience, and I now grant one to you peasant. Speak quickly and with purpose.”

At first, the older man struggled to begin, but did so upon the slanting of His Highness’ curled brow. “Your eminence,” began the man, “my family is starving and no work can be had. We have tried everything, but I appeal to your glory and kindness to help your followers this one time. We desire no more than two loaves of bread.”

King Quincey looked hard into the man’s eyes and then, with an angry voice: “Two loaves of bread. Two!? Do you believe bread simply comes forth from ground? You make a mockery of this throne old man and I will see it dealt with. Guards!”

Four armed guardsmen immediately rushed to the scene.

“I will have this old coot stay here – fetch wife and children so that he may see spirit separated from body by means of quarter as warning for such unreasonable demand.”

The guards turned and left, and the old beggar took the ground in tears, screaming at the height of lung. Finally, when he could scream no more, Quincy began to laugh through his own tears.

“I got you!” Quincy laughed.

“What?” replied the beggar through tears.

“I totally had you going. Man, you should… oh man, had you seen the look on your face. I can’t even – did you think I was serious?! Everyone needs to have a sense of humor about these things. So, uh… what should I put you down for? Three loaves?”